(Stage curtains open, revealing a courtroom scene. The judge is a hamburger, while a piece of bacon is on the witness stand. A shinbone paces the area in front of the stand, while a bottle of mayonnaise glares from the desk of the prosecution.)
Bacon: “…and that’s how I got into researching African-American speakers in the 19th century.”
Bone: “That’s pretty interesting. (Mayo yawns, but Bone ignores it.) Now to get back to what we were discussing-“(Takes a greasy piece of paper from a stack of books) “what were you trying to prove when you wrote this article?”
Bacon: “That contrary to the findings of some other researchers, African American abolitionists used advisory rhetoric more than adaptory rhetoric.”
Bone: “And how did you compare your findings to those of Ms. Mayo’s?”
Bacon: “I used non-judgmental language when introducing and comparing her and my arg-“
Mayo: “Objection, your honor! It is an assumption to say that the language the defendant used was indeed ‘non-judgmental’.”
Burger: “Sustained.”
Bacon: “W-well, I tried not to offend her and other scholars by stating that I was building upon Ms. Mayo’s arguments instead of contradicting them. Obviously that didn’t work.”
Bone: “Please tell us more about the difference between advisory and adaptory rhetoric.”
Bacon: “In a nutshell, adaptory rhetoric appeals to the audience by minimizing clashes between the audience and the speaker, while advisory rhetoric does the opposite by emphasizing those very clashes and in fact condemning the audience.”
Bone: “And what kind of evidence did you use to support your claims?”
Bacon: “I used a fair amount of material from various sources, such as speeches from William Whipper, Charles Lenox Remond, William Watkins, and of course the famous speech from Frederick Douglass and David Walker’s Appeal by David Walker, which I quote many times in my work.”
Bone: “Now, a simple skimming of this article shows that your sources are mainly from male speakers, although there have been female African American abolitionist speakers. Why is this so?”
Bacon: “At the time, there were more male speakers and relatively few female speakers, especially those who were African American. The records themselves limited me to citing only two female speakers.”
Bone: “I see. You end your article by connecting Walker’s quote to the speeches of Malcolm X, a great example of the militant rhetoric of the Black Power movement. Isn’t this connection a little weak in that Walker was not advocating physical and racial violence, while Malcolm X was in fact quoted to be doing just that?”
Bacon: “Walker’s quote shows him to be exasperated with Americans because they do not understand- and often misinterpret- their own Declaration of Independence. This exasperation, especially combined with the time that had passed between Walker’s speech and that of X’s, and the social injustices African Americans had to put up with for all that time, must have made X very angry- angry enough to hurt others.”
Mayo: “Objection! Speculation!”
(Burger strokes his lettuce patch thoughtfully.)
Burger: “Overruled. Bacon is merely stating why she ended with the Malcolm X quote. Prosecution, do you have any more questions?”
Bone: “No, your Honor. Thank you.”
Burger: “Please be seated then. The defense may start questioning.”
(Mayo rises slowly. The stage lights dim.)